So there you are, minding your own business, dolled up to the nines and clearly looking well because the lads are around you like flies on shite. But when they open their mouths they might as well be flies because they soon turn into annoying pests. If only l had a swatter, l would swat them right in their smug faces.
Me:Turn around and keep walking
Negging; definition: a light insult wrapped in the package of a compliment, used by pick up artists to gain and maintain the attention of women who possess uncommon beauty (when they’re punching above their weight). These women are immune to standard compliments.
So basically, negging is when someone gives you a back-handed compliment. Now both men and women are proven to do this. It’s a form of flirting and playing hard to get. If you’re talking to a boy and he gives you a back-handed compliment like, you have an average size pair of tits. (Been there before). Then congratulations, you are a victim of negging.
At this stage, said compliment starts to make you question yourself, to the point where you don’t think you can get with anyone else, as no one could possibly want you. But yet your man that gave you the compliment is still standing there, smiling. So he’s as good as you’re going to get, you might as well settle down now and get married.
Unhappy settling…don’t!
Now you are not alone, I have fallen victim to this too, on numerous occasions. Sure didn’t my foreign Hun only neg his way into my pants and I, the dope, fell for it. At least we didn’t tie the knot #luckyescape
Now my response to negging is awhhh will you go F**K OFF?! Ain’t nobody got time for that and this girl certainly learns from her mistakes…eventually. (After date number 22).
So my first taste of negging #scenechange. A cold Saturday night standing in the smoking area, wearing little to nothing because jackets are not fashionable and make me look like I’m wearing a sleeping bag. (Note to self, BUY NICE JACKET with monies saved, now I’m not spending it on “he-who-shall-not-be-named”.)
Who’s going to buy your clothes this Christmas babe?
Now l was standing there for the craic because l don’t even smoke, but l love to freeze my tits off and smell like an ashtray! Nah, I was there for the social aspects the smoking area brings. I was only looking fab and feeling great with my post break-up bod. Sure no one would have known I was an emotional train wreck two hours previous.
But clearly one German lad had different intentions and felt it was his job to knock me down a peg or four. He walked over to me like a smooth criminal, and this boy was a full on criminal, stealing feelings of girls ALL OVER DUBLIN (l assume) and getting away with it too because he’s a looker. Someone call the beauty police, he is the one who needs to be taken down a peg or four.
Enter smokey German guy. His opening line, “hey you look cold”. Ok Mr. Obvious what else can you see with your big brown eyes? Seeing as we were playing spot the obvious, clearly a flirting game of the dating world, looking at the cigarette in his hand, l replied “hey are you a smoker?” He was a smoker and he tried to turn me over to the dark side. No, Darth Vader, I’m happy over here with the Jedi, so you can keep your lightsaber to yourself.
He then said “your eyebrows are nice, are they real?” “Yes they’re real” I don’t remember drawing on Pikachu brows before l came out. As we continued our conversation he told me he worked as an engineer.
Me at this stage still not realising I was being negged, was still up for the flirty bants and asked lots of questions about his job. Then it got to me and he asked, what l do. I replied l am an actress. “Really you don’t look like an actress, what have you been in?” Hold up, I don’t look like an actress? Tell me what an actress is supposed to look like. Last time I checked there was no brief because we all look different. The same way engineers, doctors, teachers, PEOPLE look different!
This was a clear example, trying to make me look at my appearance to make himself feel more superior. Once I cleared up my profession to him, he then said “that’s cool, is that your only job?” No l also teach children from Monday to Friday and I’m a children’s entertainer on the weekends. Oh and I also recently started writing blogs about d**ks like you, would you also like to belittle them too while I’m here?
This was primitive behaviour, the alpha male acting like a d**k to make the girl yearn for his approval. Which to be honest, I will put my hands up and say I was doing at that time. Conversation was ended when my friend came over to me to say we were going to a different club and he went, “wow”, while taking a drag of a cigarette, “you are pretty for Irish girls”. Not thinking anything of it at the time. We left thinking we were masso 2k9, even though basically he was saying Irish girls weren’t pretty.
Who did he think he was?
What did he think Irish girls looked like, leprechaun’s?
Am I the only one who thinks my Ma should be slapping this one too?
Up the f**k back to Germany with your DaVinci code comments. Moral of the story, we never got married as my friend stole me out of the club and in good time too because, let’s be real, I probably would have given smokey German guy my tongue. Which he so didn’t deserve! Looking back on it now…
Why would someone use manipulation to get with you?
Do girls like this?
What is the scoring ratio?
Does the boy do this intentionally or is it second nature?
Is there a book out there called “D**k diaries”?
What I’ve learned is negging is the most well disguised insult out there, they might not register as negative remarks until the alcohol has left your system. Don’t let anyone manipulate you into liking them by half way putting you down. If you ever think, wait a minute, what did they just say. You too could be a victim of negging. Happy flirting girls.
Until next week
Tinderella x
Tinderella 